I wasn't spawned from a computer, just raised by one.



Monday, August 24, 2009

Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?

The other day I awoke to find my morning routine hijacked by one Sid Kane.

She offered to give me a free ride on her crazy train headed directly for "World Domination".

I did not laugh as she accused. Or snarf coffee for that matter. Mostly, because I hate coffee. If it's not in it's ice cream form I simply will not touch it. I am much more the tea drinker as the picture below clearly illustrates:

The horrors that years of hard internet abuse can inflict upon the complexion. And to think this is my senior photo.

I was intrigued. Mostly because of the perks, but nonetheless. If you seriously want my cooperation, Ms. Kane, we have some renegotiating to do. I am a highly sought after henchwoman, after all.

You offered me my own personal Caribbean island. Not bad, but as you could probably ascertain by my screen name I am of Irish descent. If you need a visual, here is a picture of me in Italy... after one day:

I would show you Day 2, but by that time I had disintegrated into a pile of molten ash.


So instead I would like the far more temperate [read: whitie friendly] Canary Islands:


All of them. Pre de-touristed, if you please. I will also need a copy of Rosetta Stone in Spanish, please and thank you.

As to your other promises, the cute men feeding me grapes can stay, I guess.

Also, I don't drink, but I will be needing those cute little umbrellas and some of those plastic swords if you can scare any up.

Always know your worth. ;)

That will be all. For now.

5 comments:

  1. I wonder if my Edward doll could use one if those plastic swords...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am more than willing to comply with your conditions. Also ... ouch to the sunburn. Damn girl, you white folks DO have it hard.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That reminds me of MANY a frying at the beach on summer vacations.

    on purpose.

    jesus we were stupid.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts with Thumbnails